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Monday, September 22, 2008

So, September.

September has absolutely been a crap month for me, and I can't even remember half of it. The highlights:

I received my worst performance review of my life, hands down, for any job I have ever held. As a bonus, my efforts went to making others (including my manager) look phenomenal in their own reviews. I have graciously been allowed to keep my job so I can get another sub-par review next year while boosting the performance of my peers.

I tripped over a snake in my yard while taking out the trash. It may or may not be poisonous (I didn't get a good look, but it was totally a copperhead), and I don't know if it is still lurking around or if it hustled off after the indignity of getting brained by a hefty bag full of soiled diapers. Now all outdoor activities (coming home from work, taking out the trash, walking the dog, etc.) have taken on the aspect of a treasure hunt where the treasure may or may not exist but will probably try to put you in excruciating pain if you come close to finding it.

My dog suffered through the worst vacation ever. He was introduced to the concept of swimming by falling into a pool and then developed a nasty but robust colony of intestinal parasites. Not as terrible for me as it has been for him, but he's not the one cleaning up watery stool and dumping bleach over huge swathes of the yard. He probably doesn't mind all of the new smells he's creating as much as I do, either.

My daughter has been dealing with two different kinds of diaper rash. There was a raised, pinkish, hive-y series of welts at first which cleared up before she developed a nasty set of raw-looking friction burns. We are going through a lot of rash cream right at a time when she thinks diaper-change time is squirm-free-and-roam time. Based on where it ends up, we don't need diaper rash cream as much as we need some kind of all in one diaper rash/hair gel/upholstery cleaner/laundry detergent cream.

I have been tantalized by nostalgia that remains unobtainable. The rental house for our family vacation was equipped with an N64 and a Sega Dreamcast that had a bunch of kickass, old-school games. It was not equipped with the AV cables that were needed to actually PLAY those games. Petty? Sure, but after all that other crap, I really needed some escapist diversions to occupy my time that I was completely denied.

As always, my plans to make more/extra/any money through writing just keep getting shut down. The less time spent dwelling on that, the better.

Really, it's been a blur of swearing under my breath at work, jumping at shadows in the yard at home, and trying not to have a total meltdown on vacation to the point where the month is no longer made of discrete memories, and has become a solid blur of unpleasantness. I had forgotten all about the eight-hour power outage I was complaining about earlier, but that might have been in August. I'm so tired of it all that it's impossible for me to review these above points to find a bright side for them. Instead, I made this brief list of things from our vacation I can be thankful for:

-I didn't lose any fingers

-I didn't flip or roll the SUV we rented

-Our vacation didn't get cancelled by the hurricane

-Our vacation was not ruined by arson

-Despite being led widdershins around the Wright brothers monument by the momentum of the crowd and the conniving of the National Park Service, we weren't sucked into the fae realm and trapped there for all eternity

-In that vein, our daughter's eyes are still blue, which means that she probably hasn't been replaced by a changeling

-None of us were torn apart and devoured by bears

So I guess we've got that going for us. And really, with a vacation like that, I should be completely refreshed and recharged for work.

Except I'm totally not.

Fuck.

2 comments:

Music Wench said...

Wow, I'm going to have to read this post next time I feel like whining about anything from slow room service at hotels to my cat having a fur ball on my bed. I'll take fur ball over intestinal parasites that would force me to put the cats out in the garage.

Hope October is much better for you.

And here I was whining over dropping an ice cube tray on my foot so it resembles one of those latex gloves that's been blown up into a balloon. I'm gimping around but at least I'm mobile and there are no snakes in my yard. Thank goodness since I hate snakes. The only time I like them are when they're dead and on my feet as shoes or hanging from my shoulder as a handbag. ;-)

PMJG said...

Thanks! I hope your foot is feeling better.
Our dog is back to his old self, and the snake has been lying low (ha ha) recently.
And we're out of September, so there's that to be happy about.